Gotta Pull Myself Together*

This week has been one where the title of this post reflects exactly what has been going on. It always reminds me of Julie Goodwin the first ever winner of Masterchef Australia. She had been struggling to make some dish and she said to the camera something like "I've just got to pull myself together and I just have to do it now!" I often feel like this and have a little chuckle to myself as I remember.

I have felt out of control and overwhelmed by all the pieces of my life that were not seeming to fit together. I decided on Tues that I needed to take control and take my power back.

I have this quote on my pinboard next to my desk

"Stop worrying about what might be and start being involved in what is." 

Jamie Oliver

I wrote this down on a scrap of paper ages ago when I was watching Jamie Oliver's show The Ministry of Food.

Jamie is one of my absolute heroes. He is a successful chef and appears to really enjoys what he does (I guess he does otherwise he wouldn't keep doing it!). His passion for what he is trying to achieve, for others, is obvious. He is so good at sharing this passion for cooking and healthy eating and I really admire his commitment. At our house we own quite a few of his cook books and have some favourites of his we often cook.

But I digress.... This week when I finally tired of this feeling of being our of control, I sat down - after a suggestion from my lovely and supportive as always, partner - and worked out what was happening in my life that I could take control of. 

It turns out that there are a few things that are currently out of my control, but on the whole, things are controllable. One of the tools I learned from the brilliant man who saved my life last year is to look at controllables vs uncontrollables as a way of managing anxiety. (obviously I had forgotten this tool, so I was glad to be reminded of it!)

It is a really simple exercise that is about writing down all the things that are worrying me, or I am feeling anxious about such as not having a job, and working out if they are able to be controlled in some way. If they end up being uncontrollable, then they can be discarded. There's no use worrying about something you have no control over!

found at Roots of She Originally uploaded by Allison Wonderland

I now have this picture on my pinboard also as a reminder to continue to hope!

With this knowledge firmly in my mind, I have felt renewed and regained some hope for the future. I can plan and achieve!

So my list for tomorrow

• finish my research job, so I can get paid!
• look for a job
• exercise - I think I'll swim!
• plan next week's study days
• have some fun
•  

 This may not be all I achieve tomorrow, but I hope I achieve most if not all of this and maybe more.

Have a great day!

Honey, I gotta stop, gotta stop pickin' up
Gotta pull myself together
Honey, I'm breaking up,
Now that we ain't makin' up
Just gotta pull myself together

*Gotta Pull Myself Together - The Nolans