If I Wanted to*

I Want To...

Blog...

Study...

Celebrate special birthdays with my friends...

Take my gorgeous lover out to dinner...

Play music just for me...

Read lots of books...

Spend less time in bed...

BUT

just because [If] I Wanted To...

I simply can't right now

So I look forward to the day I can.

If I wanted to I could be as patient as death
Fix this hole in my heart leaking into my flesh
If I wanted to I could turn sparks into ice
There'd never be another woman who could make you
think twice
I wouldn't have to be in love with you
If I only wanted to
If I only wanted to

*If I wanted to - Melissa Etheridge

California Dreaming*

Last month was a lean month for blogging, even though there was plenty of fodder, there was limited time. While waiting for an appt the other week, I took some beautiful autumn photos on my phone.

Autumn is my favourite time of year, and it was lovely sitting on the leaves and enjoying the sunshine.

The weather completely turned this week, bringing snow and freezing cold winds. My ride on Tuesday was in 7 deg Celsius, rain and wind. I thought I would be able to snap my thumbs off when I got home!

all the leaves are brown
and the sky is grey
I've been for a walk
on a winter's day

*California Dreaming - Mamas and Papas

The Book of Love* - Part V

 My book list continues with a very lean month indeed!

This month we have moved house and I lost my job, so I have had a lot of other things to occupy my time other than reading. I have also been doing a bit of reading for my PhD, but I decided not to add those things to my book list early on because I thought it would just confuse the issue. (I am tempted to add some of those books this month however, but I will resist.)

21. House Rules - Jodi Picoult

sourced from google images

I find Jodi Picoult to be an easy read when things are stressful and there has also been a lot of press among the music therapy community about her latest book Sing You Home, which has a character that is a music therapist.

But I
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything

*The Book Of Love - Peter Gabriel

Happy Birthday* (... belated ... with lots of cake)

In all the confusion of this past month, what with moving house, losing my job, celebrating the special birthday of my beautiful partner, along with working and generally living ... I forgot to acknowledge the anniversary of my blog.

On May 2nd 2010, I wrote my first blog post

I started this blog to document the journey of my PhD. Those that have been reading along will remember the first few posts about where my interests lie as well as the beginnings of some thought processes. This was short lived as the study did not take off last year.

 I have returned to study this year, but it has been slow going with everything else that has been distracting me from it.

Regardless of this, I am pleased to have taken the leap and created this outlet for myself. I have covered a wide range of topics in the past 12 months, and have enjoyed getting the feel for my own writing as well as sharing some of the fun times and inner thoughts.

Thanks for coming on the journey. I hope it will continue and with some more dedicated time, will expand and be true to the reason I began. I also have a goal for the next 12 blogging months to become more involved in my blogging community, so watch out for me commenting all over the place!

Anyway Happy Birthday little blog. Onwards to Becoming Dr Doc...

Fly me
Out the window.
Somewhere far away
news on the radio happy birthday happy birthday happy birthday

*Happy Birthday - Concrete Blonde

Making Your Mind Up*

Even with all the events that have taken place in the last few weeks, I have managed to make some slight progress with my study.

I realised (with the help of my supervisor) that I was taking on too much. I wanted to try and understand the process that occurs for groups or individuals within a community music therapy session or throughout a community cultural development project. I got quite stuck on this for a while and then I realised this had taken me away from my original objective when I began, which was to find a way to ensure the voices of vulnerable individuals and communities are present in evaluation.

I had to decide which of the two areas interested me most, and giving voice really came out on top for me. So my working (still to be refined) research question is:

How can we ensure the voices of vulnerable individuals or communities are present in evaluation?

There will be some sub questions that will need to be addressed in order to answer the question, but I am working on what these are and how many of my questions are important. (something for another post I think)

For now I am working on my epoche, which is an interesting experience as it lays out plainly what has led me to this question and which of my values influences me in the way I approach my work. 

You gotta play around
And soon you will find
That there comes a time
For making your mind up

dont let your indecision take you from behind
trust your inner vision
dont let others change your mind

*Making Your Mind Up - Bucks Fizz

Across The Universe*

Dear Universe

Thanks heaps for the lovely new house to move into next week...

 

Does it mean you have to take something away?

The last week has been a major rollercoaster. We got a new house to rent and it is lovely and in the area we wanted. Three days later, I found out that due to funding, I will not have a job after June!

What can you do? I do trust the universe and I always put my wishes out there, so now I have to trust the universe has plans for me that include a fantastic job in my very near future.

Breathe...

Words are flying out like
endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting thorough my open mind
Possessing and caressing me 

 *Across the Universe - The Beatles

Bat out of Hell*

Photos from my walk this afternoon

I was actually running along when I took this shot not that you can tell!

It's a bat colony next to the river

 Like a bat out of hell

I'll be gone when the morning comes
But when the day is done
And the sun goes down
And moonlight's shining through
Then like a sinner before the gates of heaven
I'll come crawling on back to you

*Bat out of Hell - Meatloaf